Spark
by hotforteacher
Summary: From a little spark may burst a flame. - Dante Alighieri. A background story about Jean Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher set from missing scenes in season one.
1. Encounter

**So I went back over these "missing scenes" and I changed them. Some of them not a lot, but there are changes made. Currently I am writing the "missing scenes" for season 7. However, I'm suffering a little writers block. Hopefully posting will help! These "missing scenes" will now have a golden thread running through them, connecting to each other until the very last one. I didn't create a "missing scene" for every episode, but these will not jump around. They go in order of the show.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek: TNG. **

**Please enjoy and don't forget to review! :)**

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Encounter at Fairpoint:

Beverly sat in her office in Sick Bay, lazily swinging her chair back and forth staring out of the window. Their first mission complete and now onto the next. She sighed contently as she turned back to her desk. She grabbed a picture from her many piles of PADDs on top. It was a picture of her and Jack on the beach. It was right before they found out that she was pregnant with Wesley. After a few seconds, a tear had slipped down her cheek. She brushed it away and then looked up to see if anyone saw. Her blue eyes locked onto his grey ones. If he startled her then she didn't show it.

His baritone voice filled the room, "I miss him too. He… he was a great friend." Beverly gently placed the picture frame on her desk, but she didn't interrupt him. He went on, "I am glad that you are here, despite what I said earlier. I was… umm… wrong." He didn't dare move from his spot next to the door. However, he knew that no one around to hear his confession.

She arched her brow and crossed her arms. "So you have no objection to me serving on this ship?"

He relaxed a bit to lean against the door frame. "I never had any objection to you serving on this ship, only apprehension."

"Captain," She stopped and took a deep breath. She then stood up and walked to where Jean Luc was standing. Not knowing what to expect from the doctor, he stood up straight. Beverly noticed this and placed her hand on his arm. He looked down at her delicate hand. It was the first time they have touched since Jack Crusher's funeral. He memorized the texture of her skin, the wrinkles in her fingers and the lone freckle on her knuckle. Her touch was warm and comforting. A feeling he has not felt since Jack Crusher's funeral. Jean Luc looked up to see that Beverly was staring at her hand as well. When she felt his eyes on her, she cleared her throat and said, "Jean Luc, there are many things that remind me of Jack. Some good things and some bad, but I'm used to them. I have mourned for him and I have moved on. It's time that you have as well."

A sad smiled graced his features. "I'm afraid as long as I'm captain of any vessel, there is no way for me to move on from his death. His memory is the basis of every decision I make." His brow creased as the memory of losing a comrade passed through his mind.

She slid her hand from his arm up to his shoulders. "Jean Luc, I-"

"Wesley Crusher to Dr. Crusher, mom, where are you? I thought you were going to meet us on Holodeck 3 for the party."

She took her hand from his shoulder, instantly cutting their connection. She tapped her communicator and said, "I'll be there shortly, Wesley. Crusher out." She looked back at Jean Luc and noticed that whatever emotions he was experiencing a moment before was gone behind the mask that he has perfected over the years. Once he had that mask on, there was no chance of taking it off. She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "There's a party on Holodeck 3."

He curtly nodded, "Yes, my first officer Will Riker told me about it."

"Care to escort me to the party then? I think being fashionably late with the captain is better than being late by myself." Her face held a mischievous smile. It was infectious.

He shook his head, "No thank you, doctor. There are reports that need my attention."

She looped her arm through his and started dragging him from her office. "Bull. They can wait. You can stay at the party for at least 30 minutes. Then you can claim your weak excuse to bow out early."

Jean Luc allowed a laugh to escape his mouth, "Doctor, I hardly think writing reports is a weak excuse for anything. In fact, it may gain me many sympathy votes from the crew."

"You wanna bet?" The Sickbay door closed behind them.


	2. Hangover

**One of my favorite episodes! Takes place right after the end of the episode.**

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The Naked Now:

Jean-Luc was sitting in his ready room, going over in his mind what had happened only a few hours ago. She had been so close to him, wanting him to touch her, to love her. He could still smell her perfume in the air, on his clothes. He can still picture her creamy skin after she unzipped her uniform. Her words, oh God, her words were music to his ears, not to mention to his libido. _"Oh, the things I want to do to you right now…"_ The things he could do to her… on his desk… with no clothes…

His thought process was interrupted by the chime of his door.

…with no interruptions. "Come." Beverly walked through, albeit a little timidly. Jean Luc rearranged himself in his seat.

Just hours before, she made a very sexual pass at him. It was like she needed him to be near her, to touch her, to love her. Her skin still tingled when he spoke to her. She could still smell his cologne on her uniform. The heat that electrified their bodies was still in the air, too stubborn to dissipate. Unconsciously, she looked at his desk. The things that she wanted to do to him, those things that are very much unbecoming of an officer; she wanted to do them on his desk. She had to suppress the urge to sweep everything off his desk. She looked to him and noticed that he too was staring at his desk; no doubt thinking the same things that were going through her brain. Their awkward silence turned into a silence that sizzled with anticipation. Now was the time to make their move. No one would be the wiser.

Then, like a cold shower, his communicator beeped. "Commander Riker to Captain Picard, warp engines are back to maximum capacity and are ready to resume our previous course."

"Very well, Number One. Picard out." He looked up to see that the fire he saw in Beverly's eyes a moment ago had vanished, the spark between them had somewhat diminished. Their little charade was over, back to the real world.

She stepped forward. "Captain, I have a pain reliever for your headache. I believe it is called a –"

The captain nodded, "Yes Doctor, a hangover. I have experienced it many times in my younger days. Curious, how did you know I have one?"

It only took her a second to retrieve the answer, "The crew was complaining of headaches, dizziness, vomiting and dry mouth. After our 'intoxicating' bug that passed through, I naturally put two and two together. This is more of an herbal remedy, but one that works." She went to the replicator and said, "Black coffee with lapiness root, hot." Once it materialized, she brought it to the captain and set it on his desk. "Now I know you detest black coffee, but it works better with the root."

With a look of disgust, he followed doctor's orders and drank the coffee. "Ugh, I would rather have my tea than this syrup." He set down the empty mug and looked at the doctor and smiled, "None the less, thank you doctor."

Beverly leaned over to make sure the mug was empty and smiled back, "My pleasure, Captain." She turned to walk out when she caught a glimpse of his desk. Her cheeks flushed as her previous thoughts came rushing back.

When Jean Luc saw her red cheeks, he followed her line of vision back at his desk. His heart began to pound as his primal need to sweep everything off of it became a priority.

Just as he lifted his hands from his lap, she shook her head of the fog. She noticed what he was about to do and lifted her brow. "Be careful Jean Luc. That remedy won't make you forget what happened." She smiled coyly and walked out of his ready room.

He had a crooked grin on his face when he said to himself, "I'm glad."


	3. A Warm Body

The Last Outpost:

Beverly's POV

It's getting harder for me to breathe. Every breath is more strained. I should have given Wesley a sedative. Damn Jean-Luc and his masculine principals. They are stupid. Why do people need to face death if it is painful for them? There is no shame or blame in being comfortable when death comes knocking on your door.

Now I am starting to get a headache from the lack of air and warmth around me.

Maybe if I scoot towards a warm body, we can both preserve life a little longer. Well, there is no one to the right of me – damn. I look to the left, and who should I find seated next to me? Why Jean-Luc, of course.

Just my damn luck.

The person I don't want to be near but I need to.

I just have to be near him.

He has a warm body...

...a body I would love to get to know a lot better. The thoughts that surge through my head warm me instantly. I'm almost certain that if anyone were to look at me they would see me blushing. Believe me, if I could have my lustful ways, we would be on a secluded island off the Parmethean Coast of Pacifica. I can almost hear the waves splashing against the rocks and I can feel the warm sand on my back.

And the things that Jean Luc is doing to my body are purely –

Vrummm…

What is that sound? Is that the computer clicking on? The lights are on and I can feel the warm air surrounding me. I look to the person who gave me the warmth to keep me going. I feel the blush rushing to my cheeks once more. He looks to me and I feel an overpower urge to touch him. I see that he is still trying to catch his breath, so I lean over and check his pulse. I know for certain that mine in going a million miles per minute, but it wasn't because of the lack of air or warmth. As I feel his skin under my cool fingers, my mind goes back to that beach and once again I blush. I am not surprised when I find myself huskily saying, "Not a moment too soon, eh Jean."

Geez, I sound like a dog in heat. Straighten up, Beverly. And while you are at it, use the proper name for a Starfleet officer while we are on the bridge. "I mean Captain." Better.

I have to get up and make sure everyone else is okay, especially Wesley. Before my legs can hold their bearings, I feel a warm hand on my arm. I know that warmth anywhere. When I look, it is Jean and he is smiling.

At that very moment, I thank God that he is not telepathic.


	4. Hold My Hand

**A little tender moment...**

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Justice:

"And you should know, that whatever the cost, I will not allow them to execute your son." His eyes were so sincere and, yet, at the same time they had the upmost determination. _I would do anything to get her son back. I once let her down when I came to her with Jack's dead body; I will not do that again. I refuse, even if I have to sacrifice my own life._

Beverly saw that his mouth had thinned into a pencil line. She knew what he was about to do, but all that could come out of her mouth was, "Thank you, sir." He nodded his head as she led the way out of the room. When they reached the turbolift doors, Beverly slid her shaking hand into his. Surprised, he turned to her with a questioning, steely gaze. When the doors opened, they walked inside, not letting go. She turned to Jean Luc, not as the captain, but a friend, and smiled.

The captain was clearly uncomfortable, but never released his hold. She was still shaking, though it was a lot less than a couple seconds ago. He started to rub his thumb along her finger. _I could easily get used to this._ The ride to the transporter room seemed to take longer than usual. Jean Luc didn't mind.

All of a sudden, Beverly softly said, "Computer, halt turbolift." The lift immediately obeyed her command. She turned to Jean Luc never showing any signs that she was uncomfortable with their new intimacy. In fact, she raised her free hand and placed it on his cheek, gently stroking the smooth skin. It was hard to catch her voice, and when she did it sounded like a bullfrog. "Jean Luc, if you can't bring Wesley back, I won't blame you." She tried to swallow the 'frog' in her throat. It didn't work. "And just to let you know, I never, in a million years thought that you were responsible for Jacks death."

Just mentioning his name while she was caressing his skin flooded him with emotions. He quickly got them in order before he said, "As captain of the Stargazer, I was responsible for the lives of my crew, even my first officer. As the captain of the Enterprise, I hold those same responsibilities, even if they are with an acting ensign." He grabbed her hand from his cheek and kissed it. "I will bring back your son, if it is the last thing I do." They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

Then a voice over his comm. badge stirred them out of their staring contest. "Picard to Troi, sir, it is almost sundown."

Jean Luc reluctantly let go of Beverly's hand and tapped his badge, "Counselor, I am on my way. I shall be there shortly." He turned around to face the door and said, "Computer, continue the route of the turbolift." It made its chime and continued to its destination. Jean Luc still held Beverly's hand firmly.

When the doors slid open, they walked out together, hand in hand. When they walked in to the transporter room, he turned to Beverly and simply said, "I promise."

She nodded and whispered, "I know." She looked over to the transporter pad and wished with all her might that she was going down there for shore leave rather than to beg for her son's life. The hardest thing a mother would ever have to go through is to watch her child die. Scared didn't even come close to what she was feeling at the moment.

Jean Luc felt her body shaking again. He squeezed her hand and brought her onto the transporter pad. Then he told the chief, "Two to beam down."

They dissolved into little blue particles.


	5. Matching Hat and Necklace

Haven:

Jean Luc walked out of his quarters towards the turbolift. As he was waiting, Beverly came up behind him. "Captain." He turned and was surprised by her appearance. Her hair was up in a bun. It looked like she hastily did it, but it was beautifully messy. He must have been staring because Beverly started to snap her fingers in front of his face, "Earth to Jean Luc, are you still with us?"

He shook his head and looked away in embarrassment. "Yes, there is no reason for you to be concerned." The turbolift opened and they walked in. "Deck 10."

They stood in silence. Beverly was the one who spoke up first, "I am very excited to see a Betazoid wedding. I have never been to one before."

Jean Luc coughed nervously, "You know, the guest are to be naked as well."

"I am very well prepared for it. Aren't you?" Her eyes were dancing with glee.

Jean Luc looked up to the top of the lift, clearly embarrassed to be having a conversation like this. "How are you... umm... prepared for this... umm... wedding?"

Beverly's eyes lit up, "Well I have the perfect matching hat and necklace."

Jean Luc leaned in closer and whispered, "I'm sure you will look… umm… lovely." He felt his ears go slightly red.

Beverly blushed as well, so she was glad to change the subject. "You know, I am worried about Commander Riker. He seems pretty upset by the events."

"Yes well, it doesn't seem to interfere with his duties." Jean Luc nervously tugged on his uniform.

"It doesn't have to interfere with his duties for him to be hurting. It seems like he is losing his best friend."

Jean Luc looked away, "Yes well, men usually have a blind spot when it comes to our best friends, especially if they are women. Our mind and heart are battling to see which comes first, our friend's happiness or our love for them."

Beverly was somewhat stunned. The doors opened and Jean Luc walked out with Beverly following behind him. He looked back, grabbed her arm and looped it through his. "Doctor, it would be my pleasure if you sat next to me for the dinner course."

She sighed, "It would be my pleasure, Captain, however I think Lwaxana Troi would be just tickled pink if you sat by her."

He held onto her hand even tighter, "Say what you want, Doctor, but you will be sitting next to me."

"Is that an order, Captain?"

"Damn straight." They walked into the gathering together.

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**Please review! :)**


	6. All of the Fun

**Another favorite episode! Thanks for the reviews and alerts! :)**

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The Big Goodbye:

Jean Luc strode out of the turbolift. He was making his way back to his quarters to change into his uniform. His steps faltered when he passed the holodeck. They could have been trapped in there, floating into nothingness, thanks to the Jarada probe. However, with the help of Wesley Crusher and Geordi LeForge, they were able to escape just in time.

He shook his head and walked on. After a few moments, he walked through the door of his quarters and into his bedroom. He undid his tie and slipped off his shoes. Just as his stripped off his jacket and shirt, the door chime sounded. He poked his head out of his room and said, "Come," and then stepped back in. He went to his closet to get out his uniform and said out loud, "I'll be just a moment." He didn't hear anyone answer back, so he quickly disposed of his pants to put on his uniform.

"You wear it well." Jean Luc froze as he picked up his uniform. There is no way in hell she would be at the door of his bedroom looking at his half naked body. Her voice purred and he heard her sigh quietly. "But you can never go wrong if you're in your underwear."

He forced himself to swallow as he turned around. She was still in her costume, minus the hat. She was leaning against the door frame and giving him a cheshire smile. His libido went into overdrive as she started to make her way towards him. All he could do was stare and hold his breath so that she wouldn't hear him moan. Once she was close to him, she held up a PADD and quietly said, "Mr. Whalen will be just fine. We removed the bullet and he is now resting comfortably in Sickbay. He will be discharged by tomorrow."

He took the PADD and held it in front of his chest, making it some sort of barrier between him and the breathtaking beauty that stood in front of him. He cleared his throat and hoarsely said, "That good." He stared into her illustrious blue eyes, begging them to stare at him back. He didn't want her eyes to wonder down his body, he didn't want her to see what she was doing to him physically. "Is… Is that… all… umm… Doctor?"

Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. He was mesmerized. She could have asked him at that time to do anything in the universe and he would. She bit the side of her lip and all basic brain functions ceased to exist. On his own primal accord, he stepped forward to close the gap between their bodies. His heart was going a warp speed of a million. This was the moment he has been waiting for ever since he met her. They both leaned in together.

"Commander Riker to Captain Picard. The Jarada wish to communicate with you. They insist that it is of great importance."

Jean Luc closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. He cleared his throat and said quickly, "Very well, Number One. I shall be there soon. Picard out." He opened his eyes and saw that she was smiling at him.

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "We should do that again." Her eyes flickered over his body and smirked. She then turned around and left his quarters.

Jean Luc stood there for what seemed like forever contemplating what she meant in her last statement. Did she mean that she wanted to see him half naked again? Or that they should try to kiss again? Or maybe, just to go to the holodeck again?

"Riker to Captain Picard, are you okay, Sir?"

Jean Luc shook his head and made his way to get his uniform. "Yes, Number One. I'll be there soon. Picard out." He slipped on his uniform and made his way out of his quarters. As he entered the turbolift to go to the bridge, he thought back to what had just happened in his quarters. He knew if he were to confront her about it, she would deny it. He laughed to himself and shook his head, "Why does she get to have all the fun?"

The doors opened to the bridge and he walked out.


	7. The Reprimand

**Happy 4th of July! :)**

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Datalore:

Weasley's POV

It's sure nice to be back on the bridge. For a moment there, when the captain kicked me off, I thought that I would never step foot in here ever again; thus ending my Starfleet career before it ever officially started. But thanks to my mom, my future in Starfleet looks a bit brighter. Hopefully now, after what has happened, the Captain and everyone else won't view me as some sort of kid. Just the thought of the looks they were giving me when I was trying to tell the about Lore taking over Data's personality was enough to make me mad. It still makes me mad.

Boy, was my blood boiling when _he_ kicked me off the bridge. But then he kicked mom off as well to escort me to our quarters, like I was some invalid prisoner. Then he got way to close to her when he was explaining he reasoning. Too close for my comfort.

Take a deep breath Wesley. Do your job and be glad that you are back on the bridge.

Just then the Captain announced over my com-device, "Ensign Crusher, please report to my ready room."

Great, just great, I'm going to get a reprimand. Might as well get it over with. And if I'm being quite honest with myself, I saw this coming. I did challenge authority and disobey a direct order, even though it was for a greater cause. I'll be lucky if a reprimand is all I get.

I stood quickly and walked over to the door. It opened and I saw Captain Picard behind his desk along with my mother. They were close to each other, but not touching. The captain's face was stone, but my mother was smiling.

I walked in and stood in front of his desk.

"Wesley, please sit down." I sat quietly in the nearest chair. He went on, "First, I wanted to apologize for not listening to you when you had doubts about Lore impersonating Data." An apology from the captain? I look over to my mother expecting to see her smiling, but she is sternly looking down at the Captain. Now I feel bad for him. I've been on the receiving end of that look a couple times before and it's not pleasant. But for it to work on the Captain? As Data would say, very intriguing.

The Captain squirmed in his chair and briefly looked up at my mother. He looked back at me and continued, "However, if you want to serve in Starfleet, you are going to have to learn about procedures and the order of which things are told. If you have concerns about a member of our crew, then it should be told in private with qualifiable evidence to support your concern. If this were any other time, questioning mine or any other commanding officers orders would be viewed as insubordination, which will be on your permanent record. For now, this will be served only as a warning."

Phew! For a second, I thought he was going transfer me off the bridge, or worse take me off of duty. I think my mother had a hand in this, but I will make sure that this will never happen again. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it very much. And I won't let you down." I stood and shook his hand and then he did something that I very rarely see him do; he smiled. I don't know if it's genuine or he's just relieved that my mother is no longer giving him the 'you're-in-serious-trouble' look.

He cleared his throat and said, "Now report back to the bridge."

I have the biggest smile on my face, "Yes, sir!" Yup, my future in Starfleet is getting brighter and brighter.

Just as the door opens out to the bridge, I hear my mother saying, "Now, see Jean Luc, was that so hard?" Her voice is different than what I'm used to hearing. It's lighter, almost like she's flirting. I can't help but look back as I walk out onto the bridge. I can't hear what he said back to her but they are now facing each other very closely. The look they are sharing is very intimate, almost too hard to watch. She smiles at him, and for the second time within the span of two minutes, he smiles back. However this time it's a genuine and warm smile, which makes my mother's face brighten. They step closer to each other. An inch or more closer, they could be kissing. Eww! The thought of my mom and the Captain kissing is enough to make me sick. Just then the door closes bringing me back to my duties.

A few minutes later, the captain and my mom come out of his ready room. They both look stern. "Mr. Crusher, set course for the Geluba System warp factor 8."

"Aye, Captain, Geluba System warp factor 8."

"Engage."

"Captain, I will need to use Cargo bay 4 and 6 as triage centers and I need all available staff with medical knowledge to report to those cargo bays." There must be a medical emergency.

"Very well, Doctor. Get your crew and whatever supplies needed ready."

"Thank you, Captain." She turned around and left without another word. It's a shame that this had to happen now. As much as it worries me to see how close my mom and the Captain are, one thing is for certain, he makes her happy.


	8. The Flu

**Whoo-Hoo! Another one today! :)**

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Angel One:

Jean Luc Picard's POV

I feel horrible. This... this... well, this thing I have is not what we need at this time. Not only are things falling apart down on Angel One but we have the Romulans puffing their chests up like they want to start a school yard fight. What a time for me to come down with this... this... flu!

Brr! It is too cold in here! I can hear the echo of my teeth chattering in this room. I pull the covers around my body as I say, "Compu - ACHOO! - Computer, raise temperature in my quarters by 2 degrees Celsius."

"Affirmative, raising the temperature by two degrees Celsius."

"Like it'll help any." I can't help but keep the contempt out of my voice. "The least you can do is tell us what's infecting our crew." Great, now I know I'm delusional; I'm talking to a computer.

But never the less, it responds with, "Cannot detect any harmful airborne pathogens at this time."

Of course you can't. We already tried!

Okay, I need to stop having a conversation with the computer, in my head or otherwise.

Damn, now it's too hot in here. I'm not about to have another conversation with the computer so the best course of action would to remove the covers, but only from my chest. It seems like that would be the happy median.

There, much better, now if only I can't get some sleep.

Just as I close my eyes, I hear the door open. I peak to see Beverly walking in. Despite being cold earlier, my chest feels warm and soothed. Is it the sight of her or am I getting over this blasted... thing? I motion her over. Hopefully she won't take my heart rate. I have a feeling that despite my disposition, it would give my excitement away.

She is carrying a thermos and a cup. If it's warm soup, I might have to decline. Just her presence is warming enough to make a sick man charge into battle. Calm down, Johnny. It might actually be an antidote.

I can't believe this, now I'm having a two-sided argument in my head. Relax!

Beverly sits down next to me on the edge of my bed. Oh please, don't let this be a dream.

Her cool hand on my head is very comforting. It's almost more torturous for her to stop touching me than to continue on with whatever this thing is.

"It looks horrible and tastes worse but it's absolutely guaranteed to make you feel better."

There's that touch again and then her smile. I could live forever on the sight of her smile. But then I drank the liquid. UGH! I could vomit it right up and not feel sorry that it left my body. I would stop drinking if I could but she keeps pouring the disgusting liquid down my throat. If she wasn't so beautiful, I would hit her.

Then she lets up. I fall back onto my pillow. She caresses my cheek and lightly says, "I knew you liked it."

I like it when you touch me. Maybe that's the cure I need.

Where are these thoughts coming from?

Well, wherever they are coming from, at least my body has the good sense to keep them inside.

Now she's asking me if I'm wearing cologne. Really? While I'm confined to a bed? Half naked... why didn't I think of it sooner? But then she mentions 'Klingon', and my thoughts go back to when Worf and I were walking to the bridge and her damn boy threw a snowball at me. I tell her about what happened and she gets that look, like she just figured something out. Her eyebrows are raised and there is a gleam in her eyes. She looks very beautiful.

Maybe it's a good idea to tell her that. Just as I open my mouth, she places her hand on my chest. Every conceivable word flies out of my head. I can't do anything but concentrate on her hand and hope like hell she doesn't feel my heart beating a thousand times per second. She goes on and on about a smell, but to be honest, I can't comprehend a damn word she is saying.

Then she stands up and leaves. And I don't really know why. Something about work...

Well whatever it is, she's gone. But now I can rest comfortably with the knowledge of her soft touch still fresh in my mind.


	9. Geraniums

**Lt. Bradley is a made up character. :)**

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Coming of Age:

Lieutenant Bradley, officer in charge of the Arboretum, POV

If I didn't see it with my own eyes or hear it with my own ears...

The captain was just in the arboretum talking about possibly going to run Starfleet Academy. And what's more surprising is who he was talking to.

Dr. Crusher usually comes in here to use some of the herbs and roots for her experiments. And she's usually alone. And today was no exception when she came in but the Captain came in a few moments later and sat with her.

Now, I'm not usually a snoop but it's one of those things where you can't help but watch or over hear. Especially when he chooses to sit so close to her. I've heard about what happened to her husband and I also know that the Captain brought his body back to her. I don't know how she can sit so close to him. When my uncle (my dad's brother) brought back my father's body, my mother couldn't stand the sight of him for years. When I asked her about it once, she told me that she didn't think ill of my uncle but of that image of him holding my dad's body.

I thought the same for Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard, but it's different; maybe because of the time between then and now.

As I walk by to see to the geraniums, I hear the Captain saying, "He offered me the position to run Starfleet Academy and not to mention he wants to promote me to admiral. Beverly, I would be a fool to pass this up." They don't acknowledge my presence, either that or they don't care. However, I busy myself with the new seedlings. If they truly wanted privacy, then they could have gone anywhere in the ship.

I risk a glance over. She is smiling. Wow, I've never seen her smile like that before. It's brighter yet a little reserved. She asks him, "So what's holding you back?"

He frowns at her question. "I have always dreamed of being the Captain of the Enterprise. Now that I'm here, I don't want to give it up so quickly. There is so much to learn about the space frontier, knowledge that I'm not content with by reading about it in a book or a report. And within this short matter of time, the crew has become close to one another almost like a family. I don't want to loose that."

After Dr. Crusher put her tools away, she looked over to the Captain. "It seems like you've made up your mind already but I imagine the hardest part is telling the admiral that you won't take him up on his offer."

As she stood up with her tool box, he grabbed her wrist. And the look he was giving her would have melted me into a puddle of my own goo in a millisecond, but she stood very still.

My God, he's in love with her and he doesn't want to leave her.

"Beverly..." His voice is shaky and it seems like he is trying to choose the right words. "Beverly, it's not just the knowledge or the crew that I would miss, I would also -"

"- Jean Luc, please..." She closes her eyes and bows her head. Her voice was just as shaky as the color in her face drains. She slipped her hand out of his grip and looked at him. The intensity wasn't as strong but it was still there. She loved him just as much but something held her back. "I will see you at the farewell dinner." With that she walked away.

My heart literally broke for him. I don't know the reasoning or the circumstances of their relationship but it's incredibly sad.

He watched her walk away and after a few seconds he walked out of the other door.

Like I said, if I didn't see it with my own eyes or hear it with my own ears...

In any case, it will be kept a secret as long as I live.

As I'm about to plant a new geranium seedling into a new pot, I get a communique from Earth. It's my mom. She had made it safely back home with my uncle. They have been married for two years now. For some reason, hearing from her makes me feel optimistic. If they can conquer their fears of loving each other, then so can the Captain and Dr. Crusher.


	10. The CoughLaugh

**A double today!**

**My first time doing a POV from Data. I hope it is satisfactory! LOL! :)**

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Arsenal of Freedom:

Lieutinant Commander Data, personal log, supplamental -

After disengaging the Echo Pop-A 607, we were able to communicate with the Enterprise. However, their shields were running, so Captain Picard and I thought it was advisable to make Dr. Crusher as comfortable as possible until the Enterprise could lower their shields and transport us up.

After further examination, I deduced that her wounds, though extremely serious, were not fatal at the moment. She had multiple lacerations to her forehead, arm and leg. Her body was, at the time, going through shock. Medical attention was needed though. If she were to lose conscious then her chances of surviving were limited, especially if we could not return to the Enterprise in sufficient time.

After four minutes and thirty-four seconds, Geordi LaForge contacted and informed us that they were going to transport us to the ship. Captain Picard then proceeded to pick up Dr. Crusher. She was in much pain but she protested against his help. Curious, that despite her elevated pain levels, she did not want his help. However, after five seconds of protesting, she wrapped her arms around his neck to hold on tightly.

After being transported, we found out that the saucer section had been disengaged and was awaiting our arrival at Starbase 103. I told the captain as such and suggested that we return to the bridge. He told me that in due time and that he had to bring Dr. Crusher to Sickbay.

We followed them. I had offered my services to help the Captain, but he declined my offer. I noticed that Commander Riker was trying not to laugh and that Lieutenant Commander Yar was averting her eyes to look elsewhere else.

When we arrived in Sickbay, the Captain placed Dr. Crusher on a biobed and stepped away so that the medical staff could work on her. Lieutenant Commander Yar offered to stay in Sickbay.

As we were about to walk out, Dr. Crusher called out to Captain Picard by his first name. I have noticed Dr. Crusher say his first name several times, exactly 68 times, in my presence since the Enterprise received Dr. Crusher at Farpoint Station. She proceeded to thank him. Then his cheeks turned to a curious color of red.

As we were walking to the turbolift, I asked him the reason as to why his skin turned a different color. It is very strange that he didn't answer my question, but more puzzling that Commander Riker started to cough. However it was not a real cough, but one imitated to cover his humor at the current situation. He was not very successful. I must study this 'fake laugh'. Perhaps it is needed to understand human humor.

I then proceeded to the Engineering section. After four hours, nineteen minutes and forty-five seconds, we reunited with the saucer section at Starbase 103. I then proceeded to Sickbay to check in on the doctor. She was treated and released.


	11. No One to Blame

**Alright, here's where things start to go a little a/u, but it could have happened between episodes. Also, the chapters are going to be a bit longer. This is a strong 'T'. Hope you enjoy! :)**

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Skin of Evil:

Beverly paced back and forth in her quarters. She was too upset to sit down. She had just been to Tasha's memorial and instead of feeling closure; she felt stretched too thin, like a rubber band ready to snap.

She was pissed off at the universe for taking one of the sweetest and the most selfless person she had ever known.

She had been feeling this way since she pronounced that Tasha was dead, however she couldn't afford to show those emotions. If it were to show, then Armis would have won; and most likely would have killed again. _He was willing to kill all of us for the sake of pleasure. Hell, he almost killed Will._

But if she were honest with herself, she was just skimming the top of the surface. When Tasha died, the first thought that went through her mind was Jack. What happened when he was killed? Was he scared? Did he suffer? Was it quick? Did they do all that they could to save his life? Did Jean Luc?

_Jean Luc..._

She knew it was irrational to blame Jean Luc for Jack's death. In fact, she knew it wasn't his fault and had told him so before. But she couldn't help but feel anger and resentment towards him. He was the one who brought home his body. He was an easy target to blame.

_Damn him!_

_'Damn him'... why? He didn't kill anyone. He didn't make anyone join Starfleet. He didn't push anyone into the line of fire. _

_I need to stop blaming him._

She stopped her pacing. With a sudden need to see him, she called out, "Computer, location of Captain Picard."

"Captain Picard is located in his quarters."

She slightly nodded her head as she made her way out of her quarters. She was full of steam and nothing short of a catastrophe would stop her. It took her less than 3 minutes to get to his door. Before she could lose her confidence, she rang the chime. Then all of that confidence that she had on the way to his quarters vanished.

_I can't do this..._

However, before she could run away, the door opened. Jean Luc was still in his uniform even though he had been off duty for a couple of hours. To say that he was surprised to find Beverly Crusher at his door was an understatement. "Beverly, is there something wrong?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Does something have to be wrong for me to see you?" _Why am I being so short with him? I came to his quarters, not the other way around._

He forced a smile and shook his head. "Of course not." He stepped to the side so that she could walk in. When the door closed he went on, "I'm just surprised."

"Why is that?" Her voice was stern. On the outside she had the look of business, but on the inside she was about to lose her control.

Jean Luc didn't answer her right away. He wanted to say what he wanted without her getting mad or upset. He motioned for her to sit down on the sofa. After she sat, he took a place right next to her. "Beverly, I can only imagine what is going through your head right now." He sighed, "In fact, I know what is going through your head right now." He covered her clasped hands with his own. "I know how you feel."

Her brow creased together as she jerked her hands out from his, "I don't think you know anything on what I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. You don't know anything about me! And how dare you to presume!" She stood up quickly and made a beeline for the door. Before she reached it, he crossed the room in two large steps and stretched out his hand to stop her.

"Beverly, please… don't leave." The sincerity in his statement was gentle yet encouraging enough to stop her need to run away, so he took advantage of it. "I do know how you feel because I have the same feelings and thoughts as you."

She closed her burning eyes to stop the tears that threatened and crossed her arms tightly across her chest to physically remind her not to get so emotional. She then lifted her head and proudly said, "You don't know-"

"You feel anger and resentment towards what happened down on Vagra 2 with Tasha. You feel guilty for not saving her. You feel like you're being stretched too thin, so you hide your emotions. At first you had to but after Tasha's service you had nowhere to hide. Then after thinking about it for quite a while, your thoughts went to Jack." His voice softened after he mentioned his name, almost to a whisper. "You thought about his death. Did he suffer? Did we do all that we could? Then your thoughts went to me. And you became angry all over again. You blame me for his death."

By this point, she was nothing more than a defeated ball of tears and emotions. "Jean Luc..."

He stepped towards her and placed a finger over her lips to quiet her concerns. "I know deep down inside, you don't blame me fully for his death, but I was the closest one to blame. I allowed myself to be the target of your hatred mostly because I do blame myself. He was under my command just like how Tasha was and I felt like I should have done more." He paused. "I would give anything to change places with them." His bold statement was quietly said as he bowed his head down.

Beverly lifted her hand to his cheek. Her light touch gave him warmth and made him feel loved. It had been a feeling that he hadn't felt in a long time. "Jean Luc, I don't blame you for what happened with Jack or Tasha. Maybe the thought did cross my mind, but it was out of anger. In fact, that's the reason I came here. I wanted to tell you that I don't blame you for any of this. And I certainly don't hate you."

He grabbed her hand and pressed it closer to his skin, almost wishing it would melt into his body to always feel that warm, loving feeling. He closed his eyes to control his emotions. After a minute, he took her wrist and kissed it. "Beverly..." His voice was very hoarse.

She used her other hand to bring him closer and kissed his forehead. Then she rested her head against his and closed her eyes. "Jean Luc, I will never blame you for his death. And I will keep telling you that until you get it through your thick skull." Then as though they were reading each other's minds, they both looked at one another. Each shared a reassuring smile to comfort the other before the air in his quarters started to sizzle. They were so close to each other, closer than they had ever been before. He could feel her warm breath kissing his skin. Every fiber in his body wanted him to lean forward to know what it was like to kiss her lips, but his muscles stayed rooted to where he was. As much as he wanted to step up to the plate with a new step in their relationship, he wanted her to make the choice to go further.

After several heated (and internally debatable) moments, Beverly leaned in and kissed Jean Luc on his lips. It started out so innocent and sweet, but as the minutes passed their need for more increased their desires. Everything was so new to them and Jean Luc knew that he should take his time, but he couldn't help but push his hands through her silky hair. His selfish move caused Beverly to moan as their kiss deepened.

When their kisses could no longer satisfy his curiosity, he started to explore her neck with his lips. She sighed as her hands made their own way to the zipper of his uniform. When his top was unzipped, she shoved it off of his shoulders, letting it fall to the side of his body. Her hands lightly touched his bare chest, causing his heart rate to explode within his body.

Slowly, he stopped his assault on her skin as he brought his hands up from the small of her back to the zipper of her uniform and began to unzip it. He pushed off her top, exposing her toned stomach and covered breasts. The view of her body made him lose every breath he had. Beverly brought her hands up to his cheeks and began to caress them. Finally remembering how to breathe, he looked into her blue eyes and whispered, "Vous êtes très belle."

She leaned in close and whispered against his lips, "What does that mean?"

He closed the distance between their bodies and began kissing her again. In between kisses, he roughly replied, "You... are... very... beautiful." Beverly moved her head to the side as he started to make his way down her neck. She leaned forward to wrap her arms around his body as she planted light butterfly kisses on his shoulder.

After their initial kiss, both instinctively decided to take things at a slower pace, wanting to treasure their first time together. He gently traced his hand from her hip up to her shoulder. Just as his affections meet the boarder of her bra, he drew the strap down from her shoulder. Then ever so lightly, his hand skimmed the side of her breast, eliciting a moan from her lips. He felt the vibration of that moan travel from the tip of his skin right down to his core. Just as he was about to repeat his touch on the other side, a communicator beeped.

"Ensign MacEntire to Dr. Crusher."

Both stopped abruptly. Beverly closed her eyes and rested her head against his broad shoulder. She thought about not answering at all, but changed her mind when the call must have been important enough to make during her off-duty hours. "Dr. Crusher here."

"Sir, we have Lieutenant Hollister here, ready to give birth to her twins. Her contractions are getting closer and she is about 9 cm dilated. However, we think the umbilical cord is wrapped around one of the baby's neck."

She lifted her head from Jean Luc's shoulder, but she continued to stare at him as though what Ensign MacEntire was still processing in her brain. He smiled at her as he slid her bra strap back onto her should and then grabbed the upper half of her uniform by her side. He held it out for her to thread her arms through. His simple act was enough to push her into action. "I'll be there shortly. Make sure to keep her breathing regulated and keep an eye on the babies heart monitor."

"Aye Aye, Sir. MacEntire out."

Beverly sighed as she zipped her jacket. "Jean Luc, I'm sorry..."

He held up his hands and smiled once more, "Beverly, there's no need to feel sorry. You have two babies to bring in this world. But," he held her cheek in his hand as he whispered, "I do want to resume this as soon as possible."

She smiled as she pushed his hand closer to her skin and then kissed his wrist. "I promise." She lightly kissed him on the lips once more. Slowly, she turned towards the door and walked out.

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**A/N: I have never taken French, so I got that little line is from a free translation site. **


	12. The Test

**So was it just me, or did Beverly look jealous in this episode? That is the basis for this chapter. **

**This chapter is a strong T! :)**

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We'll Always Have Paris:

"These blue drinks are… very yummy!" Deanna just finished her third one when she signaled the bartender for another. When she looked back at her friends around the table, they were all trying not to laugh. She wrinkled her brow, "What's so-hiccup- funny?" The bartender came over to the table to give her a new drink. He winked and then walked back to the bar. Her eyes followed him back and then openly stared at him. The bartender noticed and gave her a charming smile. She turned back around and started sipping at her drink. "And the eye candy's not that bad either."

"Excuse me Counselor," Data raised his hand and tilted his head to the right. "Inquiry, 'eye candy'?"

Deanna leaned to Beverly as both women started to giggled. Beverly lifted her empty glass to the bartender and turned back to Data. "He's sweet to look at," she looked back to the bartender and added over her shoulder, "Actually he's quite delectable."

Data's brow creased, "You mean you wish to eat him, Doctor? I highly advise against that. He could be carrying a disease or virus that can make you quite ill." His concern was genuine and sweet.

Beverly and Deanna went into another round of giggles. Deanna was the first to catch her breath. "We don't want to eat him, he's just nice to look at." The bartender dropped off Beverly's drink and winked at her. As he walked away, both women stared at his behind. "However, he's nicer to look at from behind…"

Jean Luc coughed to get their attention. "Doctor, Counselor; it's not becoming of an officer to openly gawk at a man's backside."

Will Riker solemnly nodded, "I concur, Captain."

Both women slowly turned around. Deanna shook her head as Beverly concentrated her attention on her drink. Deanna temporarily forgot her drink in hand and explained, "Men stare at women all the time. It's natural and healthy to be attracted to the opposite sex by their certain features. Plus it's flattering to be the center of one's attention."

"The Klingon females are attracted, not by the physical body, but by his… poetry." His eyes glazed over as a smile (or somewhat of a smile) darkened his face.

Everyone turned to him and in unison said, "Poetry?"

"Yes, she starts by throwing heavy objects at you. The heavier the object the better your chances are at mating. Then you have to keep her by reciting your poetry. Each one is different and met only for that particular mate." Worf looked around and saw that everyone was looking at him strangely. He downed the rest of his drink, looked to the Captain and said, "Excuse me Captain, I have some… exercises I need to conduct on the holodeck."

All Picard could do was to nod. Worf nodded to the rest of the crew and walked out of the bar. For a moment, the table was stunned into silence. Beverly grabbed her straw and quietly said, "Who would have thought that Klingon and poetry would be in the same sentence?" Everyone chuckled. Beverly finished up her drink and said, "Well, I'm off as well. There's a shop I have been meaning to visit." She looked around and winked, "It's been fun!"

Just as she was about to walk away from the table, Jean Luc stood up as well, "I think I'll join you Dr. Crusher. That is, if you don't mind?"

The smile on her face was strained to say the least but she silently nodded and walked out of the bar. Jean Luc downed the rest of his drink and followed her out. He caught up to her just as she past the blue parrot. They walked down the street silently, each lost in their own thoughts. If they weren't walking next to each other, you would have never thought that they knew each other.

Beverly was the first to speak, "So, how do you know Janice?"

Jean Luc inwardly smiled. He was wondering how long it was going to take her to ask him about Janice. "I knew her in France. We meet the summer before I went to the Academy."

She looked towards the windows, but she still kept her eyes on him through the reflection. "By the way you two were looking at each other, it seems like it was more than just a summer fling."

After a moment of thinking, he slowly said, "Well, for a few weeks leading up to my departure to the Academy, I thought about foregoing Starfleet and marrying her." He looked down the street, not wanting to see her reaction.

Beverly stopped in her tracks and stared at Jean Luc. He kept walking but stopped when he realized she wasn't next to him. He turned and walked back to her. Feeling confused and shocked, she tilted her head to the side and quietly asked. "What stopped you?"

He stepped closer, "Pardon?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "What stopped you from marrying her?"

Jean Luc looked around and saw that they were holding up the flow of people walking by. He gently grabbed her elbow and guided her towards a bright alley that was secluded. After making sure they weren't blocking anyone's path, he explained, "To be honest, I was scared out of my ever loving mind. I had a choice to make and I chose Starfleet. It was the biggest decision I've ever had to make but I'm not ashamed of the choice I made. And now, after seeing Janice, I realize that it was the right choice. It was… heartbreaking at the time, but in the end everything worked out better than I could have imagined."

Beverly's fierce blue eyes pierced his grey ones, almost as if she could see into his soul. "And you don't regret your decision?"

His lips thinned and then slowly said, "To regret something implies that I'm guilty of an act or of a decision. And I don't think I'm guilty of anything. I'm only sorry that I hurt her feelings. And that was never my intention from the start."

Beverly looked down at her clasped hands. "Are you still in love with her?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

After a split second, he said, "No, not like before. There's still a spark between us but I don't have the same feelings I did a long time ago." He scratched his chin and added, "She wouldn't have the same feeling for me either. Otherwise, she wouldn't have married Dr. Manheim."

After a few moments, the corners of her mouth lifted creating a small smile. She nodded her head and simply said, "Okay." She turned and started walking towards the main street.

Jean Luc stared at her retreating figure. He shook his head and ran to catch up to her. "O…Okay? What was okay?"

She looked back at him, "Your answer."

He was more confused now than he was five minutes ago. He grabbed her arm and brought her back to the quietness of the abandoned alley. "My answer? My answer was okay? I didn't know I was being tested."

"You weren't being tested for anything; I was just seeing what you were feeling."

"For the purpose of…?"

While chewing the inside of her lip, she sighed, "For the purpose to see how you felt about Janice… if you were still insanely in love with her."

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. After a minute he asked, "So my answer to you, it was… it was okay?"

Beverly smiled and nodded, "Yes, it was okay."

His brow creased but a smile still played on his lips, "I have to admit Beverly, I'm still confused as to why you would inquire about that."

Beverly stepped closer and kissed him on the lips. She deepened the kiss by cupping his face with her hands. For a moment, she lost herself with his touch. When she let go, she stepped back and blushed. "So that I could do that and not feel guilty."

Jean Luc was still shocked by her kiss and could only answer with an, "Ah."

She reached over and started to wipe away the lipstick from his lips. "I like kissing you Jean Luc, and I don't want to stop. So naturally I had to see if you were still interested in Janice before I made a damn fool of myself."

He grabbed her wrist and brought it up to his lips to kiss. He could feel the goosebumps rise underneath his grasp. He smiled into her skin with the affect he had on her. After marking a quick trail up her arm, he paused at a little spot at the base of her neck. She rolled her head to the side to let him have more access all the while leaning into his body and starting her own assault on his ear lobe. He growled in appreciation and pushed her back until her body collided against the wall. The sigh that left her lips did wonders for his libido. He gently slid his hand along the side of her body until it came to the zipper of her uniform. Ever so slowly, he brought the zipper down just enough to expose the top of her chest.

He leaned back as his eyes raked over her body. When he looked into her eyes, he saw a burning desire that mirrored his emotions. Before he could react, she hungrily took his lips onto her own and wrapped her arms around his neck. Almost losing his balance, he placed both of his hands against the wall, trapping her in. He stepped forward and slid one of his hands down to the base of her neck and pulled her towards him, deepening their embrace. She responded by grabbing onto his hips and pushed her pelvis into his. She instantly felt his arousal pressed against her thigh. He ripped his lips away from hers and smoothly pushed her head to the side, exposing his new favorite part of her neck. He quickly nipped and sucked on her sensitive skin.

Beverly closed her eyes as she slid her hands up the side of his body. She felt him shake from her touch. It excited her to know that she made him shiver. "Oh, Jean Luc…"

He growled into her skin, "La façon dont vous dire mon nom me fait excitée." He made a trail from her neck to her cheek and finished at her earlobe. "Beverly," his voice was fervent and rushed, "is there a place we can go to finish this?"

For a moment, her brain didn't register that he asked a question. She was too busy concentrating on what was doing to her body. "What?" Her voice was hoarse and sluggish.

She could feel him smiling on her ear. "Is there somewhere more private we could go to?" He brought his head in front of her as he cupped her cheeks. "There are a million things I want to do to your body, all of which aren't becoming of an officer in public."

"Ah, yes, well we can… umm… we can go to… umm… I don't know." For a moment, sadness clouded her features. "I don't think we should return to the Enterprise."

He nodded curtly, "I agree. There was this inn that I saw when I was exploring this village. It is away from the main street and looks to be very private." He was afraid to mention the little inn he saw. He didn't want it to seem like what they were doing was tawdry, but what other alternative did they have?

Beverly smiled warmly and brought his body closer to her. She leaned in and whispered into his ear, "That sounds wonderful. The sooner we get there the better."

He curtly nodded and grabbed her hand. He pulled her out from their hiding place in the alley and walked towards the street, where he expertly weaved them through the pedestrian traffic. They were in a blind rush to get to their destination that they didn't see nor hear Data shouting behind them.

After seeing them himself, Data quickly ran up to the Captain and the doctor. "Sir?" He reached out and tapped Jean Luc on the shoulder.

Jean Luc instantly turned and yelled, "What!" When he saw that it was Data who had tapped him on the shoulder, he looked appropriately apologetic and softened his features. Data looked down and saw that the Captain and the doctor were holding hands. Beverly was the first to catch this and promptly let go of Jean Luc's hand. Instantly, a cool chill crept its way up her spine. Jean Luc cleared his throat and quietly asked, "What is it, Mr. Data?"

Data studied them intently but didn't say anything on the change in their appearance or their attitude towards one another. "Sir, we have received a communication from Starfleet Command that the planet Oira is requesting our help in a dispute between them and their sister planet Ario."

Jean Luc's brow creased as he reverted back to his professional façade. "How far away are we from Oira?"

Data slightly cocked his head to the side as he computed the time in his posatronic brain. "At warp 7, approximately 26 hours, 41 minutes and 10 seconds."

Jean Luc nodded stiffly and tucked down on his uniform. "Very well, Mr. Data." He tapped his communicator and said, "Three to transport to the Enterprise." He looked back at Beverly and saw that the top of her uniform was still unzipped. He silently told her about it but before she could fix it, they disappeared into little blue particles.

When they rematerialized in the transporter room, Beverly was the first to get off. As she walked towards the door, she shook her head and said, "Phew! It was too damn hot down there." She zipped up her uniform and then looked towards Jean Luc and Data. "Thank you Data. Captain." She nodded his way and then made her way out.

Jean Luc allowed himself to smile, "Let's go Mr. Data." He knew that they would be able to continue their exploration of their new-found relationship in due time.

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**A/N: Translation "La façon dont vous dire mon nom me fait excitée." = "The way you say my name gets me excited."**

**I hope Google got it right! :)**


	13. Courvoisier on the Rocks

**This chapter is going further into A/U territory, but hey, it could have happened! It takes place right after the episode "Conspiracy." **

**This chapter is also a strong T.**

**Thank you, Keroth for helping me out on this one! :) **

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Conspiracy:

Beverly walked into the bar just as the last vestiges of light shimmered in the clear sky. It was a hole-in-the-wall dive bar, strictly off the beaten path, but it had been Walker's favorite. The people there didn't care who you were or what you represented, so when someone well known in the Starfleet community comes in, there was no gaggle or prestige. You are just a normal person going into a bar to get a stiff drink at the end of a very long day.

After what had happened at headquarters, the Enterprise had to stay in orbit around Earth to give testimonies. Tonight was their last night in orbit before taking off to rendezvous with the Hood at Pacifica. An hour earlier, she had sent Jean Luc a message asking him to join her. If he received or acknowledged the message, she didn't know, but she would soon find out.

Beverly looked around and found two empty seats at the bar. The bartender came up and asked what she wanted. With a shake of her head, she told him that she was waiting for someone. With a glance at the old fashioned clock, she saw that she was 15 minutes early than the time she had given Jean Luc. Placing her chin in her resting hand on top of the bar, she thought back to how she lost one of her best friends.

It started right after they found out that Walker's ship had been blown to pieces.

_The image of the ships fragments was on the view screen. "I'm sorry sir, it could only be the Horatio." Beverly walked closer to the screen, not believing the words that came out of Worf's mouth. She looked over to Jean Luc for confirmation, but all she saw was his captain's mask firmly in place. Even so, she did feel the tension and anger vibrating from his body. Not knowing what else to do, she looked back to the screen. Though they didn't mean to, their hands brushed against each other as they stood side by side. The touch was light and feather soft, but it was as though they could draw strength from their brief connection. _

_After a passing moment, Jean Luc turned around and ordered the ship to stop and investigate. After losing their link to one another, Beverly quickly strode to the turbolift claiming work that needed to be done. After the doors closed and there was some distance between her and the truth that one of her best friends was dead, she took a couple of deep breaths._

_After giving herself time to compose herself, she resumed her course to Sickbay. When she walked through the doors, she vowed that she would do whatever it took to keep her mind off of what she just saw. _

_A few hours passed before she looked up from her work at the sound of the Sickbay doors opening. It was Deanna. The counselor walked into Beverly's office and sat down in the chair in front of her desk. "How are you feeling, Beverly?"_

_She looked down at her work and simply said, "Fine."_

_The counselor gave a short sigh and quickly said, "Beverly, I noticed while we were on the bridge, you were shocked and saddened when you saw the Horatio."_

_Without looking up from her work, Beverly sarcastically asked, "Who wouldn't be?" _

_Deanna leaned forward from her chair and placed her hand over Beverly's. "I wanted to let you know, that I'm here if you want to talk."_

_Beverly gave her empathic friend a thankful smile. This last thing she wanted was to talk about Walker. She needed to distance herself from those feelings in order to function. "Thank you. How is the Captain holding up?"_

_Deanna shook her head from side to side. "He's more concerned about catching the people who did this than about Walker Keel's death. He is immersing himself into his work. Much like what you are doing. Soon he will come around to the fact that one of his best friends died and he will need someone to talk to."_

_Beverly raised her eyebrow, "You think I should talk to him?"_

_"Well… you both knew Walker Keel and I could tell from the internal struggles that you both are feeling, he was loved as well. It's only natural that it should be you that he comes to talk to. Or vice versa."_

Days later, after Starfleet was back in control, the parasite that had taken over headquarters was eradicated (as far as they knew) and all they had left to do before going back to the Enterprise was to remember and honor their friend, Walker Keel.

Beverly looked up at the clock; 2100 hours on the dot. She signaled the bartender and ordered Walker's favorite drink, Courvoisier on the rocks.

"Make that two."

She turned around and found Jean Luc making his way to the seat next to her.

"I barely received your message in time." The bartender dropped off their drinks and walked away. Both picked up their glasses and held it in the air between them. "But I'm glad I did. To Walker, may he find peace and love wherever he is at."

"Peace and love." Beverly murmured before taking a sip of the drink. The smell alone burned her nose and when the liquid went down her throat, it seared.

After taking his own sip, Jean Luc cleared his throat and looked into the amber liquid. "You know, I remember the first time we tried this drink. We were in Paris and we met these arrogant politicians from Coreena 3. They were drinking to their accomplishments and as they were doing so, they kept buying us drinks. We kept drinking but, the thing was, that they didn't even know our names. After a few hours, all of us ended up at the Moulin Rouge. You should have seen Walker's face when we walked in. I don't know if it was the alcohol, the company, the women or all three but I had never seen him so… excited for life."

Beverly smiled and took another sip of her drink. "I remember the first time that I met Walker. He was walking into the Sickbay facilities for a physical. He held the door open for me and when I turned to thank him, I noticed he was staring at my bottom. I was about to give him a piece of my mind but I refrained and went in. However, he followed me all the way to the office I was assigned to telling me about his friend who needed a date to some social. Walker was very persistent and after I walked into my office, I gave in and told him that I would meet his friend. That night I met him at this very bar and then he introduced me to Jack."

And so they continued; the recounting of memories and stories, funny and sad. By the time it had reached 0100 hours, both had consumed numerous glasses of the cognac and were very intoxicated. Beverly was the first to try to stand but almost fell to the ground before catching herself on the chair. "That was a close one." She looked up and laughed as she saw Jean Luc with his arms still out to catch her.

She used his hand to help her stand and then pulled him up from his stool. "Let's go."

They leaned on each other as they stumbled out of the bar. Jean Luc grabbed her waist and asked, "Where are we going? We can't possibly go back to the ship like this."

She threw her arm around his shoulders and giggled. "I still have an apartment near Starfleet Headquarters. There is a couch with your name on it if you wish."

"Bless you."

Beverly looked confused, "I didn't sneeze."

Jean Luc let out a small laugh. "No, I meant thank you."

Smiling brightly, she leaned in and whispered, "You're very welcome."

They walked in silence for the remainder of the time, neither certain what to say next – but comfortable in their shared presence. Their connection was intact and, at least for the night, it wouldn't be taken away.

Once they walked into the apartment, Jean Luc fumbled through the unfamiliar apartment and fell backwards onto the couch. He covered his eyes and slowly said, "I am very drunk." He toed off his boots and pushed them under the coffee table.

After taking off her own shoes by the door, Beverly fell right next to him and hummed her agreement. He opened his eyes and looked over to her. "Beverly, I'm very sorry you didn't get to see Walker. He wanted me to give you his love." He sighed, "I thought that we would be able to see him again."

She patted him on his knee, "That's life in Starfleet. One minute you're here and the next you're gone." She laid her head down on his shoulder and barely whispered, "I'm scared."

He captured her hand and held it tightly while it rested on his thigh. "Why?"

She sighed, "Two thoughts have been running through my mind ever since we found Walker's ship. I don't know which is scarier; the thought that there are only the two of us left or that one of us could die next." She lifted her head and lightly touched his cheek. "I don't know what would happen if you were to die."

He raised his hand to hers and whispered, "We might die together."

"If that were to happen, would you hold my hand?" After a moment of silence, she quietly added, "My worst fear is dying alone."

He leaned in closer until they were mere centimeters apart. "Until the end of time." Both leaned in at the same time as their lips met. Just like the other times, it started out innocently, but soon Jean Luc brought his hand up to her cheek pulling her towards him to deepen their kiss.

To make things easier for herself, she moved her body so that she was straddling his lap. She felt his hands fall down to the small of her back. Pushing herself higher onto his lap, she threw her arms around his neck and murmured between kisses, "You know Jean Luc; I bet you would be kicking yourself if your request to have me transferred off the Enterprise was actually granted."

To get a better look into her eyes, he leaned back into the cushion and subtly moved his hands to her hips. "I didn't know how you would react to me."

Shaking her head, she captured his face between her hands. After staring into his grey eyes for a moment, she smile demurely and asked, "How's this for a reaction?" Closing her eyes, she lightly kissed his lips.

Rewarding her with a charming smile, he grabbed her hand and kissed it. "To be honest Beverly, it's the best reaction I could have ever hoped for."

Sliding her arms around his neck, she quietly said, "I'm glad Jean Luc; otherwise I would be making a damn fool of myself for straddling your lap right now."

Laughing out loud, he shook his head, "Beverly Crusher making a damn fool of herself… never. Straddling my lap…" he leaned in and whispered into her ear, "a dream of mine since you came onto the Enterprise." Wanting contact with her skin again, he lifted the bottom of her blouse and began to caress the small of her back. "I'm so happy that you want this just as much as I do."

"I do want this, Jean Luc, now more than ever. Please, let's not wait any longer." As her mind clear of the remaining alcohol, she traced her finger down his chest and rested at the top of his shirt. Willing him to kiss her again, he obeyed her command.

Wanting to get into a comfortable position, Jean Luc picked her up and turned their bodies to that he was on top of her. Leaning her back against the arm rest, he started to unbutton the rest of her blouse. Within a matter of seconds, he slipped it off and dropped it on the floor. Glancing down at her body, he smiled. "You are so beautiful." Making a trail of kisses down the middle of her chest, he stopped at the top of her pants. Unclasping them, he slid them off of her legs. Raking his eyes over her figure, he leaned back down and began planting kisses along the edge of her wisps of lace and silk.

As she closed her eyes, Beverly let a sigh escape her lips. There were butterflies in her stomach and her skin felt like it was on fire. Every sensation she was feeling was more intoxicating than the alcohol. Feeling his fingers slip underneath her panties, her eyes opened and she quickly sat up on her elbows. "Jean Luc…"

Hearing the unmasked want and need in her voice, he sat forward and ever so slightly, removed her delicate bikini. He leaned back down and continued his assault on her skin. "You amaze me, Beverly. You are more stunning in person than when I saw you in my dreams." He brought his hands around her back and unclasped her bra, then added it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

She moaned as his thumb lightly grazed over her breast. "I might be more beautiful, but you still have on more clothes at the moment." She dug her hands underneath the hem of his shirt and lifted it off. After tossing it on the floor, she lightly touched his chest. Their mouths connected again and soon her hands were making their way to the buttons on his pants as he laid her back down against the arm rest. Pushing down his pants and boxers, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him into her.

Letting out a ragged breath, he leaned down to kiss the hallow of her neck and then laid his head down on her chest. He closed his eyes as he listened to her heart beating. After a moment, he whispered, "Would it seem unmanly of me to confess that it's been a long time since I have been romantic with a woman." He lifted himself up and smiled with twinkling eyes, "This might be over before it even starts."

Giving him a sly smile, she leaned closer and whispered "We have all night, Jean Luc, with no one to interrupt us. Besides, it has been a long time for me as well." She slid her hands from his chest around to his back. "But I'm sure we can figure it out together."

After they finished, he laid against her sweaty body with his head resting on her chest. It was very soothing for him to hear her heart beating in sync with his own. As he felt her lightly tracing lazy patterns on his back, he was struck with the feeling that he never wanted to move from this spot. He could live out the rest of his days happy with her body pressed underneath his. "I never want to leave. Can we stay here forever and let the universe pass us by?"

She looked at him and simply whispered, "Yes." Caressing his cheek, she sighed, "Let's start right now." After helping her up off the couch, she held his hand and squeezed it. Leading the way, she took him to her bedroom.

Waking up to the rising sun, Beverly stretched her arms out. The sheets felt good against her naked body. But had she been dreaming? Did she really make love to Jean Luc all night long or was the alcohol from the night before playing a trick on her mind? Feeling nobody next to her, she got out of bed and pulled out one of her old t-shirts. She pulled it over just as she walked out of the bedroom.

"And here I thought we were supposed to be doing the opposite."

Beverly smiled at the sound of his sleepy bedroom voice. Looking at him, she saw that he was dressed in his boxers. On the breakfast table in front of him lay a simple meal of croissants and coffee. She sauntered over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

He grabbed her around her waist to keep her from moving away and kissed her on the lips. "Good morning," he said as he gave her another kiss. He leaned back and smiled brightly. "I thought you would be hungry when you woke up."

She gave him a quick kiss and slid out from his embrace. Taking a seat at the table, she poured them each a cup of coffee. "Good morning. Your right, I am famished." Placing the napkin in her lap, she glowingly added, "It must have been all that exercise last night. I believe I worked up quite an appetite."

He sat down next to her and grinned. "You and I both, doctor." After they began eating, only silence permeated her apartment, but it was a comfortable one.

When the croissants were gone, she looked up and purred, "We should have breakfast together more often." Then she reached over to him and held his hand. "Thank you, for everything."

Squeezing her hand, he pulled her up from her chair and circled his arms around her waist. "It was my immense pleasure, Doctor." He leaned down and lightly kissed her shoulder.

Looking at the chronometer, she saw that it was 0800 hours and sadly asked, "What time do we have to be back on the Enterprise?"

Sliding his hand underneath her shirt, he murmured, "I have to be back on the Enterprise by 0900 hours, which is an hour from now. You, my beautiful doctor, don't have to be back until 1200 hours."

She nodded against his shoulder as she slipped her hands down to the waistband of his boxers to slide them off. "I actually have a meeting with Dr. Sorenth down at Starfleet Medical at 0900." She heard him hum in agreement as he took off her shirt. "I'm assuming that he wants to talk about what has happened but he said he has some good news for me as well."

He pushed her back to the table and lifted her up. As he positioned himself between her legs, he mischievously whispered, "We have a whole hour until we have to leave. What in the world could we do to take up the time?"

He wrapped her legs around his waist and snaked her arm around his neck, bringing him closer to her. She was a mere inch away when she whispered, "I'm sure we can think of something to fill our time."

Forty five minutes later, both were showered and dressed as they walked out the door. They held hands as they made their way out of her apartment building. At the glare of the sun, Beverly covered her eyes and whispered, "Back to the real world." She turned to Jean Luc and grabbed his other hand. "When we are both back on the Enterprise tonight, I want to see you." She stepped closer, "I want to be with you."

He squeezed both of her hands and said, "We will have to be careful, but I will do everything in my power to come to you tonight." He leaned down and lightly kissed her lips. "Beverly, just as long as I have you by my side, we will always let the universe pass us by."

They held onto each other for a few moments. When the bell of the trolley sounded, reluctantly, she stepped out from his embrace and said, "That's my ride to Starfleet Medical." She leaned in and kissed him once more. Then she stepped away from him and said, "I will come to you tonight." She gave him a crooked little smile before she turned and stepped onto the trolley.

He watched her disappear through the maze of the street and its traffic. He quickly looked around and saw that only civilians walked past him. With a sharp nod of his head and a quick tug of his uniform, he turned towards Starfleet Headquarters and started walking.

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**Oh, the foreshadowing... **


	14. Scared

**Hi there! Sorry this took a little longer to get it posted. There are some changes I want to make to the next one, but hopefully it won't take to long! I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the favs and comments! :)**

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**The Neutral Zone:**

Jean Luc took a sip from his glass as he looked around the room. Settling his eyes on the most beautiful woman, he frowned as his beverage (what Sonny called a martini) slid down his throat. Trying not to focus on her to attract attention, he let his eyes wonder around the rest of the room. The holodeck was packed with several of the crew and their families. After their stand-off with the Romulans, the crew reacted enthusiastically to the party as a way to relax and unwind.

Sighing into his glass, he took another sip of the offensive liquid wanting very much to leave the party and go back to his quarters – with Beverly. Finding her again and allowed himself to look at her for longer than it was appropriate. With her, he felt this warmth that he had never felt before. When they were alone he felt like he could take on the universe with both hands tied behind his back. However, when they were out in public, he had made it very clear to never show affection towards each other. It was his idea and as much as he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her, he held back. He barely knew his crew… what would they say? What would they think?

_That you're a normal human male with needs and wants..._

Beverly had told him that after the time they were almost caught in the act by Wesley. He all but ran from her quarters after they had made an excuse as to why he was there in the first place. When he had caught up to her to explain himself, she was furious. He told her that he didn't want anyone to know – that he wanted to keep his private life private. At the time he thought it was a simple request, but when she kept asking him why he wanted it that way he yelled out "What would they think of me if they saw us together?"

She shook her head for a moment laughing to herself. "What would they think if they saw us together? Is that all you care about? What other people would think?"

As she repeated his question, he knew that it was a stupid thing to say. "Beverly, you know what-"

"You know what they would think if they saw you in a healthy relationship?" She sauntered up to him slowly, "Not just with me, mind you, but with any woman." Leaning in so close that he could feel her breath on his cheek, she murmured, "That you're a normal human male with needs and wants…" She quietly kissed his lips. After a moment, she turned and walked to the door. When she got there, she paused, "And if they were to see us tonight, Jean Luc, they would have thought you were a fool." When the door opened, she walked out without a glance back.

He took the following week sending her messages and apologies, but it was too little too late. He was called to an emergency conference on _ and he wasn't able to see her until he walked into Sickbay to see the survivors. They hadn't had a chance to be with each other since that night she walked out – and it seems that fate won't be kind to him either… not with her new orders from Starfleet Medical.

Not wanting to draw attention to the fact that he was staring, he continued to look around the crowded and festive room. Just as he was noticing Sonny bring out his guitar, he felt someone watching him. Knowing it was her, he tried to shake the feeling as he took another sip from his drink. After a moment, he could no longer resist taking a peek at her.

Seeing that he was watching her, Beverly mischievously looked around the room and when she was sure that no one was looking, she winked at him.

That was the sign. Trying to contain his own smile, he downed the rest of his drink and started to make his way over to her.

Data squeezed through the throng of people and grabbed his attention, "Captain, how do you like the party? Is it a humdinger?"

Jean Luc took his eyes off of Beverly and cocked his head to the side, "Umm… humdinger?"

Nodding his head, Data said, "Yes sir. As in extraordinary, amazing, bizarre, a doozy, hot stuff-"

Jean Luc held up his hand and smiled, "Thank you, Data. Yes, this party is quite…" he glimpsed over to Beverly, "remarkable."

"Did you try the martinis, sir?"

"I did. It was quite the rock gut." Seeing Data giving him a quizzical look, he patted him on his shoulder and said, "If you would excuse me."

Data nodded. When the Captain turned away, his forehead crinkled as he silently mouthed, "Rock gut."

Seeing that Jean Luc was coming towards her, Beverly hid her excitement behind her complaisant smile and listened blandly to the person talking to her. Oh yes, she should be mad at him for his unwillingness to be a normal person, but after weeks of not being with him and their run in with the Romulans and the new change happening very soon, she decided to swallow her pride. She wanted to be with him, and she was willing to put off their talk for at least one night. Again she swallowed down her excitement. She had winked at Jean Luc for a reason; it was their code for 'I need you now.'

She had only used it once before when they had both seen each other in the arboretum. She was there to collect samples and he was showing a visitor around the ship before they were to beam down to their planet. She knew it was unprofessional, but she couldn't resist the tease. After all, it would be silly to think that Jean Luc would actually leave his guest at the drop of a hat. When they had met each other in his quarters a few hours later, it was like fireworks had blissfully exploded. Afterwards, he had told her not to do that to him again, however, before she could respond, she was called away to Sickbay. After thinking about what he had said, she smiled mischievously at her computer terminal and sent him a one-word private message; "Never."

Shaking her head of the most magnificent thoughts, she felt a ping of giddiness in the pit of her stomach. She had never acted like this, even when she was younger. It was oddly exhilarating. In the back of her mind she knew it would end soon, but that just made everything more daring, more exhilarating, more… just more.

When Jean Luc had walked up to her, she gave him a cheshire smile, "Captain, Mr. Offenhouse and I were just discussing cryogenics. It's actually quite fascinating."

He knew that she was trying to rile him up and he also knew that it was working. "Interesting, however doctor, we have a meeting that we need to attend. Please excuse us, Mr. Offenhouse."

The older financer held his nose in the air and nodded, "Of course, Captain." He held out his hand to Beverly and softly said, "Doctor, it was a pleasure to talk to you. Perhaps we can continue our discussion over dinner."

Before she could say anything, Jean Luc curtly said, "She will be busy all week. If you will excuse us." He turned to her and pinned her with a 'don't-argue-with-me' stare, "Doctor." Without waiting for a reply, he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the party. As far as he considered it, this public display of affection was adding fuel to the rumor fire. It's something he would normally abhor, but at the moment, he could care less. Someone had made a move onto Beverly and in his mind that was unacceptable. In fact, it infuriated him. However, the back of his mind reasoned that she technically wasn't taken for. They weren't officially a couple, but the few nights they had spent together since their time on Earth was more than enough for him to designate them as a couple –at least in his mind.

By the time they stepped into the turbolift together, Beverly sighed and lightly said, "You didn't have to be rude to him."

"Hurmph… he was making a pass at you." It was slightly childish, but again, he didn't care. "Halt!" He turned to Beverly and stepped into her personal space. "You were the one who gave the sign. What did you think my reaction would be?"

She placed both of her hands on his chest wrestling with herself on what she should do next. Under normal circumstances, she would have found a way to provoke him, but with the news she had to tell him, she held back. She had given him the sign, but the nauseous feeling in her gut was making her second-guessing herself; was this the right thing to do or should she just tell him. She didn't want to lead him on but at the same time she just wanted them to be a normal couple. After a moment of hesitation, she gave him a darling smile and said, "Something along those lines."

He leaned in and kissed her hard. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in her touch. Feeling her arms slip around his neck, he pressed his body closer to hers. After hearing her moan, he backed her against the bulkhead. After a few glorious minutes of feeling like he was the closest thing to Heaven, he leaned out of the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. "Beverly, can we continue this somewhere else?" He grabbed her cheeks and continued to softly kissed her.

She nodded and whispered, "Let's go back to my quarters. Wesley is on a camping trip with some of his classmates in the holodeck. He won't be home tonight." She gently pushed him back and said, "Resume course." She slid her hand down and grabbed Jean Luc's hand. Feeling the muscles tense, she squeezed his hand and let go when the doors opened. Walking out first, Beverly led the way to her quarters with Jean Luc close behind. When she heard the doors close, she quickly turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. Leaning in, she whispered, "I love it when you get jealous. Your brow crinkles and you purse your lips. You look so cute." Looking into his eyes, she timidly kissed him on his cheek and wiggled out of his embrace. "Would you like some supper?"

Confused at her change of intimacy, he nodded lifelessly as he stared off into space. He was not used to her being so nervous with him. Something was definitely on her mind and he had an idea as to what it was. However, he had promised himself that it was her news to bring up, not his.

Beverly looked into the replicator and said, "Two bowls of chicken noodle soup." When it materialized, she placed the bowls on the table and looked over to Jean Luc. Still in his own thoughts, she threw a napkin at him and said, "Penny for your thoughts."

As the napkin caught his face, he looked up confused, "What is a penny?"

Beverly placed a hand on her hip and coyly smiled, "It's an expression, Jean Luc. What's on your mind?"

He put the napkin on the table and shook his head, "Nothing is on my mind. I'm just thinking." To his surprise, Beverly walked over to him and sat in his lap. He sighed contently as he wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her closer to him. He loved the weight of her on his lap. To him it was oddly comforting. He leaned in and kissed her in his favorite spot on her neck (right below her ear).

Beverly was hesitant first, but then gave into his embrace. To her, it felt like all night she had been a rollercoaster with her feelings towards him; wanting things to go further and then pulling back at the last minute. Once more, she felt the knot in her stomach start to tighten. She knew that she had to tell him the news. It was now or never, but she was afraid… afraid of his reaction… afraid of what he might say to her. Though, in her heart of hearts, she knew that they could work this out… couldn't they?

Feeling her hesitancy, Jean Luc leaned back and quietly said, "Seems like you need the penny now."

Sighing, she wrapped her arms around his chest and laid her head down on his shoulders.

They stayed wrapped together in each other's arms for a while. Both not wanting to say what had to be said and fearful of what could happen next.

Leaning back out of her warm embrace, Jean Luc lightly grabbed Beverly's cheek and said, "Please tell me."

She looked deep into his eyes and saw the pleading in his gray eyes that mirrored in his voice. Right then and there, she knew that with all the wit and charm that she had, nothing was going to stop this train wreck. "You know."

Letting his hand fall from her cheek to her lap, Jean Luc slowly nodded. "I knew since the conference. Dr. Sorenth is very excited that you will be heading up Starfleet Medical this coming year." He took a deep breath, "As am I." However, his voice was anything but excited.

She grabbed both of his cheeks with her hands, "I meant to tell you when you got back from the conference, but with those crazy survivors and the Romulans, I didn't get a chance to talk to you until tonight. It's only for a year. Then I'll be back on the Enterprise… if you still want me." She felt awkward saying those words. Before they had started their relationship, she was very secure with herself as the CMO on the Enterprise. Now, she was nervous; not knowing how their relationship would change the security of her job on this ship that has become her home in so little time.

He shook his head, "If you have the opportunity to stay there, then you should." Looking into her eyes and feeling her body tense, Jean Luc knew that he had said the wrong thing. Before she could leave his lap, he grabbed her hands and said, "That did not come out right. Please forgive me. What I meant to say was that if the opportunity arises that you could receive a promotion, then stay at Starfleet Medical. You're a great leader; it would be ridiculous for them not to promote you. However, if you wish to return to the Enterprise, then your position will always be open to you."

"Then what about us?"

Jean Luc hesitated, not knowing how to say what he needed to say. He wasn't so sure that the distance between them could help their relationship. In fact, he knew from personal experiences that long distant relationships didn't end well. And when it ended, it was brutal and heartbreaking. And that was with a woman he didn't love, what would it be like if his relationship failed with a woman he's been in love with for twenty years.

At his silence, Beverly slipped out from his lap and began to pace the room. After a couple of rounds, she turned to him and placed her hands on her hips. "There won't be an 'us', will there?"

Jean Luc stood up slowly, "Beverly-"

She shook her head, "Don't 'Beverly' me." She took a moment to get ahold of her anger. Then a thought hit her like a ton of bricks and for a moment she couldn't breathe. She walked up to him and quietly said, "You're scared."

"Damn right I'm scared!" he yelled. He turned away from her, not wanting her to see the emotions races across his face.

She walked up to him, her anger already forgotten and slid her arms around his waist. "There is nothing for you to be scared about. It will only be one year."

He sagged against her touch and her warm breath on his neck. "I know."

She leaned her head against the back of his shoulder, "Then why are you scared?"

He hung his head. "What if this… doesn't work out? What if you find someone new? Our relationship… our friendship would be ruined and…" he took a deep breath, "and I don't think I would be able to move on so quickly. I value our friendship too much."

She let her arms falls to her sides and took a couple steps back. "Do you really think I would do that to you? That I would betray you?" Through her blurry tears, she saw him turn around.

He walked to her and wiped away her tears. "You are so beautiful. I don't want to hold you back, not with your career and certainly not with your love life." Jean Luc's heart pleaded with his brain to take back the hurtful words he had been saying. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, but he knew one thing for certain, he didn't want his heart to break when she came back with someone who was right for her. He knew that being her friend was more important to him than being her lover. He was safe. Although, when he held her at night and watched her sleep, he felt his heart soar to new places, places he thought never existed. Letting her leave was the safest way to keep their friendship, even though it was the hardest thing he had to do. But did he have too? Could they still have a relationship so far away? For a second he felt his chest soar, but then a picture flew into his mind of Beverly introducing him to her fiancé. She looked so happy, happier than she had ever been with him. His head fell down to his chest, wanting and willing that picture out of his head.

Seeing pain pass through his features, Beverly placed her hand on his shoulder, shaking him out of his thoughts. "You don't mean that, Jean Luc." She stepped closer to him, "I really think that we can work this out, together." With his silence, she grabbed his cheeks and whispered, "Please. Please say we can work this out."

It broke his heart to hear her plead with him, but he also knew he didn't want his own heart to break if she wanted someone else. At least this way, they could still remain friends.

When she saw him slightly shake his head, she turned away from him and leaned against the table.

He walked up behind her, not wanting to leave yet. "I'm sorry, Beverly. I feel th-"

She held her arms tight across her chest, willing herself not to cry. "You know Jean Luc, you don't have to be scared."

For one split second he thought about taking her into his arms again, whispering that he loves her, that he has always loved her. Then that same image of her with another man filled his mind. If something like that were to happen, their friendship would never survive. And her friendship meant more to him than risking everything on loving her. "We should be scared Beverly." He gave her a light kiss on her shoulder.

Feeling a tear slide down her cheek, she cleared her throat and softly said, "Please leave."

Slowly, Jean Luc turned around and made his way out of her quarters. The instant, the door closed, he felt like he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He had just walked out the best thing that ever happened to him. Instead of charging back in and apologizing for his harsh words, he walked away. He knew it was for the best. When he walked into the turbolift, he shook his head and asked himself, "Was it?"

One week later:

Beverly hugged Deanna tightly. "This isn't 'goodbye'. It's an 'I'll see you later'." Beverly stepped back and looked at her colleagues who had become close friends within their short time together. "So, I'll see you later." She beamed at them.

Will piped up by saying, "Until you come back, which you will be back soon, I'll keep up my end of the bargain."

Beverly's eyes twinkled as she replied, "You better and I'll be back, I promise. I wouldn't want to miss seeing you with a full fledge beard."

Everyone murmured their 'See you later's and their well wishes and then left the shuttlebay. Only Deanna and Wesley held back.

Beverly wrapped her arms around her son and brought him close to her. "Now when you get to Starbase 42, there will be a transport to pick you up and bring you to Earth. By that time, the apartment will be set up for the both of us."

Wesley smiled and hugged his mother again. "I love you mom."

Beverly sighed, "I love you too. Be careful."

One of the survivors from the space vehicles poked his head out of the shuttlecraft and said, "Can we get a move on? There are people I have to see." The old financer wrinkled his nose and went back into the shuttlecraft.

Wesley looked back at his mom and rolled his eyes, "Be careful as well and I'll see you soon." He gave her one last hug and then stepped back.

When a call over his communication device asked him to come to Engineering, he replied with, "On my way," and started to walk out of the hanger. Before the doors closed, he looked back and waved, and then he was gone.

Beverly sighed once more as she watched her son leave. "I have a feeling that I'm going to get a message from him saying that he wants to stay on the Enterprise."

Deanna smiled, "Would that be a bad thing?"

Deanna's question made Beverly think for a few moments. "No, it wouldn't. It would just make me want to come back sooner." The doors to the hanger swooshed opened and Beverly looked eagerly in that direction. An ensign came through, relieving the officer at the control panel. She closed her eyes and wished for the hundredth time that she wouldn't cry.

Deanna patted her on her shoulder and quietly said, "He said he would come. I imagine that he was held up."

She opened her eyes and coolly said, "I don't know what you're talking about. Well I must be going." She smiled warmly at her friend and said, "I'll see you soon."

Deanna hugged her and said, "Take care Beverly."

Beverly stepped onto the platform with one more willing glance back at the doors. When they didn't move, she walked into the shuttle and closed the doors. After a few moments, the shuttlecraft started its engine and then its decent out of the shuttlebay. Just as it cleared the forcefield, the doors to the hanger swooshed open and Captain Picard came rushing in. He stared at the retreating vehicle as it made its way to Starbase 302. "I thought that they were to beam over using transporter room 5. I came over here as fast as I could." _But I was too late_ he finished in his head.

"Clare and Sonny were afraid to use the transporters, so Beverly decided to take them over by shuttlecraft." She glanced over towards the Captain and saw him chewing the side of his cheek. "Sir, you can send her a message explaining your misunderstanding. I'm sure she'll understand."

Jean Luc shook his head and made his way towards the door, "That won't be necessary Counselor."

Deanna shook her head and made her own way out. She had this nagging feeling that there was something different about Beverly, but she didn't know what. She knew that she and the captain were somehow involved and they had some sort of falling out but it was something deeper than that. It was almost as if, Beverly had physically changed. And despite the overwhelming sadness she felt from the doctor, on the outside she was glowing. Deanna shrugged at her nagging feeling, telling herself that in her own time, Beverly would come to her.


End file.
